03 October 2008 - 21:36

What to do when your team is losing  Comments

I know the feeling. Dizziness. Embarrassment. Disbelief. But don't fret, those feelings soon pass. It just takes a little time and determination, and with the help of this top ten list you'll be fine for next weekend's game.

So be sure to listen closely and take notes. I'm a pro at this. I'm a Bengal.

I've composed the top ten ways for any fan to cope with an untimely loss from their favorite college football team. Hope you feel better.

10. Ice Cream: Mint Chocolate Chip is a favorite, but pretty much any flavor will do. Be sure to add plenty of toppings.

9. Find those old VHS tapes of the big games your team won in the past: When the Buckeyes lost to USC a few weeks ago, I just broke out the 2002 National Championship game when they beat the Hurricanes. I felt much better.

8. Cry: It's OK, just make sure nobody sees you!

7. Find an excuse and run it in the ground: For example, a few I've used in the past: "If Beanie Wells wouldn't have gotten hurt..." or for 2006, "If Tedd Ginn Jr. wouldn't have gotten hurt..."

6. NCAA Football '09: Because if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself. Plus you can always hit the reset button.

5. Watch with spite as the team that beat your team goes down in flames: Sorry USC.

4. The Blame Game: The rules of this game are that it doesn't matter who or what you blame (i.e. referees, coaches, your quarterback, those black jerseys), you just make like O.J. and point the finger the other way.

3. Pills: Tylenol of course.

2. Take a Long Drive: Back roads. AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Godsmack. A few hours of pounding on the steering wheel and you'll be fine.

1. Bleacher Report: Nothing is more therapeutic than writing. So sit down at your computer and tell the world how, despite your team's loss, there's still hope! Unless your team's in the Big Ten. Then you're just screwed.

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posted by Pavlos. 03 October 2008 - 21:36

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